FB FU'S FO FRI (a day early..I couldn't resist)

or REAL?

Alexa Hong, "Soho House Miami opening last night...REALLY puts the NYC house to shame"- We get it. You go out. To REALLY cool places. So...SUBTLE. And now I shall suddenly DELETE you.

Joanna Stern, "Do you know anything about Gall Bladder Surgery! Why did you need it? Does it hurt? Doing some research. Please help :-)."- Honey, I did some Google research on my own after reading this. If I had a razor sharp pains in my gut, vomiting and nausea, had trouble passing gas, was severely constipated or exhibited any of the other side effects of gall bladder surgery, why the hell would I want to post it on your wall for everyone to read. AND after that you actually have the GALL (ha pun intended) to give a ":-)" icon?? Fuck off. Seriously. DELETE......AND DELETE. IGNORE. DELETE.

Mike Johns, "Success lays within the power of your mind, or at least today it feels that way."- Listen Ghandi...Use your grammer check application, success lies, it doesn't lay. Speaking of which, it's probably about time you got it too...maybe a good shtupping would knock some creativity into your mind and out of your mouth. DELETE.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. -George Carlin

"Gray Hair is God's Graffiti" - Bill Cosby

...And these bitches be werrin it...

ARGHHH!!

These Kingsly by Gwen Stefani boxer briefs for wee ones are ridiculous. Not really sure what the function of them for a 3month to 2year old would be considering they wear em over diapers...but regardless, im getting a pack for my nephew. Love.

" I'm a 'Leg Guy'"

as if you had a choice...

Do I have to...

...go to work???Pedro made it really tough this am to get out of bed.

What's your next hook....Crabs?

This new joint joint entitled, Gonorrhea by Lil Wayne featuring Drake now brings the VD i believed to be extinct back ...I could probably think of some better titles to this beat. One that most likely avoids symptoms such as burning sensation while urinating. Sick.

Really Shel?

This weekend while reading this classic childhood favorite to my 15 month old nephew, I realized why he seems uneasy everytime I choose The Giving Tree as his naptime story. This dude's headshot (which takes up the entire back cover of the book mind you) resembles a GODDAMN CONVICT. Couldn't Shel Silverstein have chosen a more child friendly photo to invite his toddler audience? Mugshots of serial killer pedophiles don't really mesh well with preschoolers. If this was a hoax on all us adult readers, then hats off to you Shel, ya got me! Fantastic.

Is there something you wanna share with the rest of us AMAZING LARRY?!

Facebook friend requestion....

reaky.

I'm going to have to think long and hard before ignoring your request to "be friends" sir....Apparently this man is blind and def so I can't even say I'm flattered that he "noticed" me.....

Summer's officially almost over....and I'm S.P.E.N.T.

Goddamnit do I need a break.....(but it was an unexpectedly ridiculous 2010 summer)...

FB FU'S FO FRI

ug all y'all...

Mike Kerr - Waitin for the dumps to open, anyone else awake yet- NO AND I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE...DELETE.

Jenni Mitchel- After some penne, salad, italian bread and a side of Moscato..I'm calling it a night...- After taking down 2 slices of pizza and half a chicken roll...I'm going to DELETE you darling...xoxoxo...sweet dreams.

Paul Veechy- P'JAMMA TIME! Ew. DELETE.

No.Fuggin.Way.

I'm not sure if the Reebok Pumps ever came in women's sizes, but I had a pair back in my little league baller days and I just saw them on sale for 45 bucks on Guilt Groupe. Git Some.

All this commotion about a Christina Ricci painting?

This $1.1 million painting was finally found by the drunken owner's doorman in the bushes and just returned after three weeks of hanging in his apartment bathroom. Thank God. I can finally sleep tonight.

I Miss......

Wuzzles. I didn't know then why. I still don't.

Wii should just say "thank you". I'de still be stomping on this badboy if there were a higher level than "cheetah" and my sister and I hadn't pounded the dining room chandelier to pieces from the upstairs playroom in '86....Whatever.

Before she was solely associated with her ginormous heavy hangers that she had reduced...

When was the last time you could wear 'em (running around your kitchens or lounging on your own couch dont count ladies) or see them...(boy shorts don't count guys and we're talking on women..interpret as you wish)

When being stranded in the cold was somewhat fun.Love.

I know..I can still get one, but not conveniently located in Tribeca nor does it work well with my health regime. Would rather save the calories for drowning any social and work anxieties in booze soaked TLC these days...:-(. Depressing, I know.

Blueberry Hubba Bubba.....They don't make or sell it anymore, nor do they post legit pictures of the packages online. Lame.

WUD YOU...

yup.

And I always thought popcorn was one of the healthier snacks...?

Her parents should be jailed. And Orville Redenbacher better watch his ass...

He's Baaaaack......

Hottest kiss of the week

Love.Fitness edition

Kay Kay Clivio, Pure yoga instructor and my personal teacher trainer-I have followed this chick for a few years since she started teaching in NYC from Hong Kong. Get into one of her hot classes at Pure, a private class in your own home, Pure East or West studios or a few Equinox locations. She's the T-ts.

Tribeca SoulCycle is the best, quickest way to sweat your nads off in 45 minutes. These more creative and all over body workout spinning classes are pricey (36 bux per class not including 3 dollars for shoe rentals) but incorporate this twice a week in your workout routine and you'll be psyched with the results...Don't bother getting a package of classes though.It forces you to commit and doesnt save you anything really...SoulCycle is for those like myself who hate the gym but if you love good music and want to get the F out as soon as possible, hit it up. Laurie's classes fill up quick, but she is hands down the best instructor around.

Theres something about Hairy....to not. It makes me uncomfortable.

Why does a dude with a freshly shaved mustache look so.Exposed. Newly shaved upper lips formerly masked in hairy darkness are the equivalent of a chick showing her new grooming "situation" in public. Neither feels right to the rest of us...

RUNKLE!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great weekend and try to sleep in late!

FB friend list cleanup before the weekend...

Status Updates 9.10.2010: (names have been changed to protect the already dooshy reps of the following )

1-Hey now this is my desire: Consume me like fire, cause I just want something beautiful to touch me-John Mueller....Really? First off this is a dude's posting. Secondly..forget it. DELETE.

2- Mary Slugen is in love with my new coffee maker!!! It's like my brother says, I have met "Life"!!!!!! LOL....If that is "Life" you may want to re-evaluate your future sweetie. Also, way too many exclamation marks..Nobody is that excited about a coffee maker. Ever. Liar.DELETE.

3- Sarah Loughlin went to social security to change the last name...shockingly it lasted only 15 minutes!!!! Wow, I don't know about the rest of you, but that IS shocking! I'm going to go drop some cianide in my coffee and see if I can reach the same level of astonishment that Sarah must be experiencing right now. Brb.DELETE.

Ouch....

Wait...does this mean I have cerebral Palsy then?