WUD YOU.: November 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

I just noticed my blog has been so negative lately....

...So I'm going to lighten up for a little while...Smile will ya?

Friday, November 19, 2010

How to evoke depression in 10 seconds...

1. Start playing an episode of Mr. Rogers. The itchy looking cardigan, puppet fisting and "soothing tone" of our friendly neighbor makes everyone young and old feel a little uneasy. Did he really need to put on and take off his jackcet in front of us? All that playing with, picking up and moving around of figurines and toy train set spelled diddler to me. I'm sure he was a "nice guy" but I always tended to gravitate more towards Anthony the pissed off mechanic from the Bronx type neighbor rather than the dollhouse designer. Keep the sweater on Sir. Thanks.

2.Play the M*A*S*H opening theme song. It never failed to either give me a migraine or want to jump out my second story bedroom growing up. I'm not sure if it was the actual song, the amputees or the fact that it indicated that all the fun shows were over and I had to go to bed soon...... http://www.tvland.com/video-clips/mash/m-a-s-h-theme-song

3. Cher... Her movies, her music, and her face alone. Moonstruck, Mask, and Mermaids prove my distaste for the drag queen. And really? Do you Believe in Life after Love? Does she?? Her daughter aka CHAZ has moobies and a three piece set most likely completed by now, I think she'd take Rocky Dennis at this point, but even he couldnt take the bitch anymore.

4. Cleaning supply commercials...Being home "sick" in elementary school was usually a great way to avoid a social studies test i didnt study for or the forwarned puberty video in the nurse's office featuring Annie from the play who just got her period, but I always suddenly felt sicker when Bounty or Mr Clean commercials interrupted my Supermarket Sweep. These house moms always seemed way too excited and eager to wipe up their bratty sons grape juice or dog piss from the linoleum floors. Not quite sure where my depression stemmed from, but i'm guess it was either the fact that this could potentially be my future despite what my new generation x mentors were telling me or that my mom sucked because whenever i spilled or didnt take the dog out for a walk on time, the chances of her smiling and running to pick it up were slim to...well NEVER.

5. Sarah McLachlan and Jewel- Sarah for one main reason: that puppy mill commercial...I can't think of a time I was more bummed out than the first time I saw all those mangled dogs while she just sat there and sang about "silent reveries"....DO SOMETHING! SINGING ISN'T HELPING GIRL! and Jewel...no real hatred towards the chick, but I can't think of anyone who repeatedly coos about coffee, front porches, sun rays and always going back to bed that I'de ever want to hang out with. The only interesting part of her is her snaggle tooth, and I think that may be gone now. Bummer....

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Lost (for awhile) but not....

ORGOTTEN..

Amy Pearlman Fb status update : Just a reminder that Amy Dougman of Amy Pearlman Collection will be at Neiman Marcus Northpark today from 10am to 4pm with tons of fun pieces!" - Hey Amy, just a reminder that I know "all proceeds go to african charity" bs means 'maybe 10% max' of sales proceeds from you animal horn jewelry goes to the poor Kenyan population. I also know that mom and dad have funded your endevours (as well as your wasted law degree) in order to keep you from funneling more and more money from your trust fund into your mom's very own Neiman Marcus account...Good luck though! I bet it's going to be such a crazy busy and exciting day!!!Delete.

Jane Mulligan: Why am I up at 5am for a spinning class? - Why don't you tell me Jane? You are the one who scheduled it...and now I too am up at 5am because my blackberry email just notified me of your ridiculous workout schedule. FYI, you are about 76 pounds dripping wet and your hair is falling out. Try eating a bagel and creamcheese instead tomorrow at 5 am. Have a great workout babe! (delete....but shhh this one may take it personally).

Grace Lichtman: So I hurt my shoulder last week doing binds in yoga. My self prescribed solution was no chatarunga this week. It was feeling alot better and then kickboxing tonight set me back again . Turns out throwing punches was not a great idea. Maybe tomorrow I will honor my injury and spin. Wow Grace! can you tell that story again?! I can't wait for tomorrow's status update explaining how spinning gave you groinal strain and irritated the area between your butt and.....oh wait, I may be the only one. Doubt it though. Delete...actually I'll wait until I hear your feedback on whether the spin experience was mutal. Delete to be postponed, but I swear you're still gone.